being their mother...


Watching Elsa engage with her environment more and more over the past few months has been so awesome. She's so enthusiastic with each new experience, needing to see everything, touch everything, climb everything. I believe that Elsa will be my last baby, so with each new stage, I know I am saying goodbye to the last. Oh, motherhood, you are a beautiful, bittersweet, heart wrenching and amazing thing.

I've been thinking lately about how much of who we are happens in our own minds, much of our experience of life happens when we are alone. No matter how much time I physically spend with my children, no matter how much we communicate, their minds are still vastly unknown to me, and mine to them. I don't know what will stay with them from their childhoods, but I hope the memories are happy and warm. I feel so much love for them. Often when I think of them, my breath catches in my throat and my heart seems to stop for a moment. But, can they feel that? God, I hope they feel that.