pay attention


Today didn't start out very well. I was tired and grumpy. To truly understand why, you have to start the story four years ago when I kissed a full night of sleep goodbye forever. (Okay, maybe not forever.) Throughout this whole mothering thing, I've come to a certain peace with that. But I've also learned that I only have so much in me, and when I'm done, I'm done. Two nights ago, I had that done feeling. It was time to night wean. Elsa is doing okay with it, but as should be expected, the last two nights of sleep have been a little rough.

Naturally, this morning, I was kind of tired and grumpy. The house was a mess. I spilled milk while making breakfast. Our bank account balance seems to be mysteriously missing one of the zeros at the end. I stubbed my toe like three times in an hour. I sent panicked texts to my poor husband at work. "I can't do this. This is too much. I cannot deal. Oh my god."

But then I stopped for a minute, just right there in the middle of my living room, and looked at my children. And I realized something. They are so happy! I have such happy children! As I stomped around the house feeling overwhelmed and frustrated, they were just playing peacefully in their kitchen. When Fiona noticed I was watching her, she said, "Mama! What kind of ice cream do you want?! Chocolate? Or vanilla?! It's your birthday!"


Thank you, my sweet girls, for reminding me daily. Life is good. I just have to pay attention to what is right in front of me.